Sunday, May 6, 2012

Step One.

This household has had some unexpected twists and turns over the past few weeks. We've been receiving bill after bill from the hospital for Mike's and my surgery, which is making our budget hard to stand by (especially when you get one for $1,300).  Work has been a stressful situation due to a shortage of management for over a month. We thought I was pregnant for a little while (no, mom, I'm not. The Dr. told me so), which obviously comes with it's own world of stress. The plan to kick start our garden this week, since it'll save us money in the long run, didn't happen due to the lack of up front money needed. And, because of said bill that we received, I deemed it best to not go to Pennsylvania this weekend for my niece and nephew's 4th birthday party, which made me feel like a terrible person for not following through with a commitment. But it was really the smartest thing to do for our wallet (it's a 15 hour drive round trip, with about $40 in tolls).

And what it comes down to is, I've been coping terribly.  I've been taking my stress out on Mike, been short at work with people, have been getting frustrated easily, and have all around been a pretty sucky person to be around.  And realizing that has stressed me out even more.

So, I ran. I ran this morning solely to run. I didn't care if it took me an hour, or if it took me 4 hours. I was going to run, deflate, and just not care about anything for a little while. And it worked.

Out of my office window after my run. Yes, it was cloudy, and nasty, and rainy,
but I made the best of a day of bad weather.
I always worry about my physical health. Eating right, exercising. We've even touched on financial health for a little while when we were budgeting. But most often, I forget about my spiritual, mental, internal, whatever-you-want-to-call-it health. And that's what this blog is about. It's about finding that balance in your life, where everything you do, say, act upon is done with the perspective of living a healthy life. Not just in one area, but in all. And my mental health needs some working on.

With that said, I'll be finding more ways to alleviate that stress, the worry, the temptation to wallow in my own sorrows.  Because, while stress is a healthy reaction to bad things happening in your life, it's what you do with that stress that changes things. How can you transform that stress into an action plan? It's how we utilize our emotions that makes the difference between success and failure. And I'm failing miserably right now.

While this morning was rainy, cloudy, and muggy, I could have looked out of my office window this morning and said "Nah, it's gross out, no need to run today." but I decided to look at it differently. The rain will keep me cool. The road is empty because it's early Sunday morning. My body works.

So I went with that. And 4 miles later, here I am. I guess that's step one.


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